Navigating redundancy, identity and writing

I'm new here. Be gentle.

Welcome inside my head. I’ve wanted to launch a Substack for quite some time, having joined earlier this year, following suit of my favourite writers and podcasters. The predictable excuses and imposter syndrome had stopped me from doing so but, having been made (voluntarily) redundant at the end of June, I have eventually found myself here. Hooray for the slow burner crew!

I am April, a writer and editor based in London. At the ripe age of *not quite thirty yet*, I am on a journey of self-discovery and pursuit of creative and career fulfilment. Join me and my hopefully relatable ramblings of how I navigate this nuanced world, mainly through the lens of living in London and on the road with my musician partner.

Funemployment

I am in a fortunate enough position to have left my previous job with an added package to soften the blow financially. I realise there is enormous privilege and luxury in this and I take comfort in knowing I don’t have to panic right now (I still am). Ironically, I’d daydreamed about leaving my job for a while — I’d been there nearly six years, moving through the ranks slowly and with little or no promotion, I knew my time was soon coming to an end — and have somehow *manifested* this outcome. I’d held out mainly for the sabbatical programme that was offered after five years and was planning to use this time to travel and figure out my next move.

Alas, here I am, having officially left my job at the end of June, now facing life as funemployed and tentatively exploring the freelance world. What a confusing world that is. I’ve spent as many hours of the day at my laptop applying for jobs or googling, and ChatGPT’ing questions about going freelance as I did when I was working full-time — something that’s hard to communicate when friends and family affectionately ask what I’m doing with ‘all the time off’. I know I am not alone in this, many other companies seem to have followed suit with redundancies, slashing perm contracts to cut costs and make room for profit, meanwhile hiring freelancers on higher day rates seems no issue. I guess with so much shapeshifting in the economic landscape, businesses don’t know what to do. Saying this, I am still hopeful and want to take this as an opportunity over an obstacle in my life.

Identity 

Never have I been thrust into a free world of time and space to think and reflect, something I’ve repeatedly heard people say they’d cherished during the covid lockdowns. Not me, as I’d only just started my previous role and was launched headfirst into what I can only describe as a firefighting role that didn’t really match up to the original description… Sound familiar?

Having an abundance of time has its ups and downs — from waves of motivation and productivity to laziness and loneliness. All that time spent at my laptop and still nothing to show for it? How is the day passing by quicker than when I was working full-time? What is my plan? I must figure it out now! 

Time has always been a (learned) excuse of mine. I’ve ‘never had time’ (or money) to pursue any dreams or creative endeavours… Not always true of course, I’d definitely prioritised other aspects of life before pursuing writing in my spare time and for the most part I don’t regret that. But now I have no excuse, will I still be motivated enough to pursue the projects I’ve put off for so long? Only one way to find out…

Writing

One big influencer in starting writing was partaking in a local 12-week course with teachings based on the ‘Artist’s Way’ book written by acclaimed author and creative counsellor Julia Cameron back in the 70s. Its main idea is to unblock creativity, rediscover and recover your creative self. If you’re rolling your eyes when you read this, I initially did too. It took commitment and vulnerability, which outside of work, I’d not allowed for a while (unless partying counts). I will go into my experience with the course in more detail in a future post, but for now, my newsletters will likely be a mixture of everyday observations, commentary on music, fashion and other arts I’m interested in and probably an occasional rant of my experiences…